Overthinking
by Benjie17
Summary: A series of Vignettes between Mulder & Scully throughout season 7, as they take their relationship up to the next level. Episode by episode starting with "Millennium". Drama and fun. Try to be in character as much as possible. Better than it sounds. Read & review!
1. Chapter 1

**Overthinking**

A/N: This was previously posted under the title "Sensibility and Sense". I rewrote the chapters I already posted. The story and evolution are the same; I just brought some changes in my writing. Hope it's better and you will like it.

Okay so, there is still a big debate out there to try to guess how this whole "Mulder and Scully as a couple" started. I'm pretty sure that a huge amounts of FF here deal with this. The main subject of this debate remains about what may or may not have happened in _all things_ (ie: sex). Some people think it happened way earlier, between _Millennium_ and _Rush_ others, think that _all things_ was when it all seriously started for good.

I'm not a shipper, I never was. Neither for _The X-Files_ nor for the other shows. However I'm deeply interested and invested in those characters, so of course, I have my own theory on this. I'm not really an FF writer either. I just wrote one for another show but it was actually more of an analysis written in script format. Here is my first attempt at a real fictional narrative.

I see Mulder as the more openly emotional of the duo; the one who is not afraid to be driven by his feelings, while Scully is more secretive and more rational. I think that's why we more saw Mulder being the one who chased after Scully and initiated things between them, and not the other way around. What I'm proposing here is to describe the slow evolution of their relationship in season 7 as I see it. It's some thoughts Mulder and Scully could have had in my imagination. I'm gonna go almost episode by episode starting with _Millennium._

Here is my first chapter. There's only Mulder in this one but I already wrote drafts for other chapters where I went into Scully thought process.

Please note that I'm French and that being more of a scriptwriter and essays writer I'm not used to use this kind of narrative format so any advice and criticism is more than welcome! Note that I also write without proofreader or beta reader.

Hope you'll enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Millennium Aftermath<strong>

The World did not end, Mulder mused, as he was getting ready for work. Actually it even seemed as the same as before. All the crazy theories and talks about the New Millennium were just that: crazy.

The craziest thing Mulder did was kissing Scully. He might believe in a lot of things that are considered crazy, he had never believed that anything would have happened on the Millennium. Except that in some way, something did happen. He kissed Scully. On the lips. This time for real. Some part of him stupidly wondered if he would have had the courage to finally do it if it would not have had been for the Millennium. After all, he had thought about it for quite sometime now, but never got the guts to really do it before. The missed kiss in the hallway 2 years ago notwithstanding.

He did not quite get the meaning of her positive response yet, but he could not help feeling good and hopeful at the fact that she kissed him back. After everything that happened in the last year, with Diana especially, he had expected Scully to spurn him. But, no, she just kissed back. Maybe the world was not totally the same as it was before the Millennium, after all.

The first time he told her he loved her, she reacted indifferently, even mocking him before leaving his hospital room. She just simply attributed this sudden confidence to the drug he was on. It had been a huge disappointment but he did not want to give up.

There, not only Scully kissed him back, she then took him back to her apartment. Granted, it had just been because he had been injured, and he couldn't be trusted with meds (her words). But still, it was a good sign, right? After all, Mulder was thinking, she did not have to bring him along to her mom's, for the New Year's celebration lunch but she did it anyway. Okay, technically, since he had still been at her apartment when she had to go, he just tagged along. Maggie was thrilled to see him and it was a very nice day, especially since he managed to steal another kiss from Scully. It had been under some mistletoe, the only moment they had really been alone, but it still counted in his mind. She had not said anything and had just accepted the kiss.

Mulder jumped at the sound of his phone ringing. He was still shaving. Damn! How much time had passed since he went to his bathroom? He was certainly late and this phone call he had just missed was certainly Scully's. Mulder had a step back, a bit startled at the sight of his own reflection, smiling at him horribly like a goof in the mirror.

"Just wait for another sign," he said out loud before rapidly finishing to get ready for work.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This one takes place during _Rush_. After a particular scene during which, if you watch carefully, Scully plays with his tie. It's not really showed but it looks like that's what she's doing.

Here is both Mulder's & Scully's thoughts about that.

* * *

><p><strong>Ties<strong>

She played with his tie. She PLAYED with his TIE. They were supposed to be working on a case, but right now, as he was driving, the only thing Mulder was capable to think about, was Scully playing with his tie.

He knew her well. He knew she had her ways to keep his feet on the ground, and to make him do what she thought they needed to do to work a case smoothly. Eliminate all the potentially plausible and rational explanations before coming to the crazy conclusion. That was her job to make him do that. She did it well. Scully was a very good debater, and she knew how to make her point, so he was absolutely sure she never had to use that kind of technique before to get this result. At least not with him.

Mulder was edgy. After the two kisses they shared on New Years Day, it could not be a coincidence to see Scully openly flirting with him that way, right? It had to be a good sign. For Mulder, right at this moment, it just had to be, as frighteningly good as it sounded to him.

It was awfully silent in the car but Mulder did not dare to say something, let alone to look at the beautiful, red-haired woman sitting beside him.

XXX

Scully couldn't believe she did this. What was wrong with her? She never acted that way with him before, especially not on a case. That was totally inappropriate. That was totally unprofessional. She did not even need to flirt with him to get what she considered was needed on a case. She never had to before and she was sure that she still did not.

She might have responded to some of his innuendos before but never really seriously and never while in a middle of a case, arguing about the next move. That expression itself, sounded sooo wrong right now, that Scully gave herself a mental slap.

She really did not understand what had happened there. Mulder had not say anything even remotely flirty. They were just arguing about what could have had possibly happened on those woods and what to do next. Mulder had been his usual self as had she been while trying to not make him jump to the crazy conclusion right away… while playing with his tie.

Scully was sure that Mulder was probably wondering if she was not one of those aliens who could take whomever appearances. After all, this was so unlike her. Scully always had a hard time to flirt spontaneously. She could flirt back, but it did not come to her naturally. Another voice in her head reminded her that it did not prevent her to flirting back with him from time to time. She also had a flash of two particular kisses she had participated in recently.

She blushed a little as she stared out of the car window. She did not want to think about that now.

The drive was abnormally silent for them but she did not dare to say something, let alone to look at the tall, handsome man sitting beside her.


	3. Chapter 3

This takes place during _The Goldberg Variation_ with references to _The Sixth Exctinction II: Amor Fati_

* * *

><p><strong>Implications<strong>

"Hey, nice outfit"? "Hey, nice outfit"? Seriously? Scully was sure that, in 7 years of partnership, it had been the first time Mulder ever commented on her outfit. Certainly with that kind of look.

Deep down Scully knew that something shifted a bit in their relationship since that near kiss in his hallway a couple of years ago, but here, since the Millennium, something shifted big time, and now, she did not know how to respond to that.

She and Mulder had a very deep bond. Always had. Hell, they went through so much together that this bond was probably unbreakable at this point. The thing was, their mutual trust went so much beyond what she ever felt and experienced before, that she still was not sure of the nature of that bond. It kind of always remained a mystery. The way it formed. The way it evolved itself almost as if it was a separate entity.

Since he kissed her, Mulder was different and she really started to wonder if he wasn't trying to seriously initiate something other than friendship. She was starting to think that Mulder really had feelings for her, after all. Diana made her seriously doubt that what happened in the hallway had been something significant for him. However, Diana was now dead and if Mulder's latest monologue about her being his touchstone had been any indication, his feelings were pretty serious.

If she was honest with herself, she too, had feelings for him. Only she never really had taken the time to think about those. It was a territory that she swore to herself she would never come back to. She could have had thought about the near kiss in his hallway or this night playing baseball with him, but she had decided against it. Mulder was her friend and her partner and she had been determined to make the best of this. Even when he told her he loved her, she had not responded. Conveniently taking it as a drugged infused confession, she just remained loyal by his side, as if nothing had happened, not willing to think about the implications of all of these moments.

At that time, she thought it had been the best thing to do, especially after what happened with Diana.

Scully was a very rational creature. She believed this was the main reason why she did not do spontaneous. She really believed experience and rationality should prevail on instinct and emotions. Only, if she was really honest with herself, Mulder had made her a bit more naturally spontaneous. She even openly initiated a flirt with him not so long ago. Adding to that what he told her that morning, when she came to tell him Diana had died and those kisses they shared, Scully found herself at a loss about what to do now. Perhaps it was time to think about those implications, after all.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This takes place after _Orison_ but before _The Amazing Maleeni_ _and Signs and Wonders_. Again both Mulder's and Scully's thoughts.

* * *

><p><strong>Home<strong>

Mulder had been _this_ close to invent even crazy strategies to keep her apartment a mess. But he decided to be a gentleman and just offered a couple nights in his apartments. He had promised her he would behave and he did. So here they were, one morning, him making coffee while she was packing, being all set to go back to her place, already. He could not help but being a bit disappointed and sad at the prospect of seeing her leave. He did not want her to go.

He knew it was dangerous territory. He dated colleagues before and it always ended up in a disaster. He'd been there and so had she. Only here, if living a few days with her taught him anything, is that it felt different this time, and he desperately wanted this to happen.

It was seven years in the making. Seven years of deep mutual trust and respect and unbreakable friendship. They went through a lot together and always been there for each other no matter what. The level of trust was nothing comparable with what he had with other women he dated, and even loved before. This was real. This went beyond deep.

The thing was, Scully had her fair share of bad relationships and she always said she would never date a partner again. That could be a problem, especially after the Diana debacle. He would have to take this slow and see if she had the same kind of feelings he had. He thought she did but, right now, after the recent events, he wasn't so sure anymore. He was aware their relationship was fragile lately. But for now, after what had happened with Donnie Pfaster, she needed a friend.

XXX

Scully had first refused to take Mulder's offer to stay in his apartment due to what had happened between them these past few weeks. She had not known what had been the implications of this offer. But he behaved. When she left, she knew he was disappointed to see her leave but he did not say anything. They actually did not talk about them at all. Those few days would have had been a good opportunity to open up about what had been going on, but they did not say anything. They just acted as usual, as good friends. Like nothing happened before. It was a lie, and it has felt good, all things considered, to be near him.

Scully could sense that Mulder was worried about her but she needed to go back to her place. She needed her own space, her own bed. She needed to feel home, especially after all the recent events.

She was aware that it might seem strange that, after all the tragedies and violence that took place in her apartment (including the murdering of her own sister), she could still see it as a place where she could feel safe. It was her home no matter what. Here, as she prepared to go to bed in her bedroom, for the first time since she fought and killed Donnie Pfaster, she just could not help but feel like it was good to be home and alone. Honestly, it was going to be good to spend a night without having Mulder around in the living room.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This one takes place after _The Amazing Maleeni_ and _Signs and Wonders_.

* * *

><p><strong>Closer<strong>

Everything went back to normal, Scully did not know if she should be relieved or not. Part of her was. She knew how to deal with a friendly Mulder. So it was a good thing somehow that everything went back to normal.

Scully was about to prepare dinner when her musing was stopped by her bell ringing. She knew who that was. Everything went back to normal except for the fact that Mulder felt the need to spend more time with her outside of work lately, inviting himself to dinner and old movies or taking her to impromptu lunches on light days at the office. He did not try to kiss her again though. He was his old safe, even if she caught a couple of glimpses. He just slowly made himself more present in her life outside of work. A part of her was annoyed by, what seemed to be, the apparent reason.

After all, Pfaster was just a (bad) memory now, they even investigated two new cases since then, but he still was apparently worried. She even caught him, a couple of times, looking at her as if she was a time bomb. She found it unnerving. Another part of her told her to not think about the reason and to just enjoy it.

So Scully just yelled at the door for him to enter and went to find some wine. And surely, here he was, as she took two glasses from a cupboard after putting a bottle of wine on the kitchen table. He brought pizza.

- "Hey! I thought we could buy ourselves a treat after this boring day."

- "Sure, thanks."

Mulder then took out two plates from another cupboard, before going to find a corkscrew, walking around her kitchen as if he always lived here. It was perhaps what pushed Scully to finally break the silence.

- "I'm fine Mulder, you know. I really am."

- "Yeah, I know." He seemed a little startled by her intervention. "But common, don't tell me you won't be even better after this" he said, opening the pizza box which filled the air with a nice smell.

He smiled and she could not help but smiling too. The pizza did look good. So here they were, on her living room, watching old movies, while drinking wine and eating pizza. Again.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This takes place during _Sein und Zeit_, in Mulder's apartment after his mom died. Mulder's thoughts and a missing scene between Scully and him.

* * *

><p><strong>Desperation<strong>

Mulder did not know what to do. Everytime a case of child kidnapping occurred he automatically took it personally. He could not help it. He always hoped that one day, one of those cases would help him to find the truth about what happened to his sister. Only, now that he was sure he was closer to that truth than he had ever been, he found himself paralyzed.

He never expected that approaching the end of his quest would bring so much pain. He thought his mother would want to know the truth. Or perhaps she already knew everything. She could not have killed herself. He still could not quite believe he actually asked Scully to do the autopsy, but she was the only one he really trusted. His mom could not have killed herself. If there were something to find – as he was sure there was – Scully would find it.

Mulder realized he was a bit hard on Scully, but this was a difficult case and he found that her skepticism was not that helpful, for once. He wanted her to be more open on this case. He wanted her to trust him. He wanted her to see by herself that his mother did not commit suicide, and then they would go from here to find the truth.

Somehow, when she knocked on the door of his apartment, and when he opened it to her, he knew he was not going to like the news. The way she walked, and then carefully sat down across from him was revealing to him. He tried to tell her that his mom had known something about Samantha and that the cases had to be connected, but Scully did not seem to listen. She just sat. He did not really dare to face her so he kept his head down a bit. And then she told him. His mother did commit suicide. She was suffering from a fatal disease. He knew it was the truth, but still could not quite believe it. She had been trying to tell him something, he was sure of it. But now that she was dead, he could not do anything but cry, so he did.

He cried on Scully's shoulder for he did not know how long. He was still clinging to her as if his life depended on it. She was just rocking him gently. His apartment never sounded so silent to him. What was happening? He fell in love with his partner, but did not seem to be able to do anything about that. He was unable to quite grasp the truth about his sister's disappearance, no matter how close he was to finally know what happened to her. And now his mother had killed herself after trying to send him a message. How the hell did his life end up like this?

He shifted a little bit taking his head off Scully's shoulder. He stayed close to her, his head still down. Scully kissed his forehead and then put her own forehead on his, eyes closed. Mulder took a look at her, so beautiful on the dim light, and before he could really think about it, he kissed her. She was surprised but did not step back. Mulder just took her face in his hand and brought her even closer to him, kissing her passionately. Scully was almost on his lap then and, while he kissing her neck, he lifted her up somehow managing to put the both of them on his couch. Mulder pressed his body a bit more against Scully's, and soon they were both laid on his couch. Mulder deepened the kiss while starting to work on Scully's shirt's buttons. This was when Scully stopped kissing him back and put her hand on his chest.

- "Mulder, wait, stop."

Mulder did not want to stop. He wanted her right there and right now. He could not take it anymore.

- "Mulder, no. Stop!" she said, between kisses. "It's not right. We can't do that." Mulder kept kissing her neck but less madly. "Mulder, you just lost your mom." she said, sadly.

Mulder then reluctantly stopped. Deep down he knew she was right. He was still on top of her and they just looked at each other, catching their breath. Scully then brought Mulder's head to her and kissed his forehead gently again. She then put his head on her chest. Mulder let himself lead by Scully's touch and cried again on her chest. He felt Scully stroking his hair lightly, and found it oddly soothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello! Found a little time in my busy schedule to post this one. Am I not nice? XD

Missing scene at the end of _Closure_.

* * *

><p><strong>Feel<strong>

"I'm free". It had been comforting and also a bit odd to hear Mulder say that, Scully mused as she was back in her hotel room.

He finally knew what happened to his sister. He always had believed the x-files would bring him the truth, and he had been right. Scully was very happy for him but she was also sad that his sister died all those years ago, probably scared. At least, now Mulder knew.

Scully did not really know where Mulder had disappeared for a bit, nor what had happened there, but when he came back he looked somewhat in peace, even if sad.

He had said nothing in the car, on the way back to the hotel. Only when she had parked and cut off the engines, he said that he had seen her, Samantha. She was still 14 and she was happy.

Scully still did not know what to make of this, nor of the fact that there was no remains. Samantha was probably buried somewhere. Now, as she took her shower, she wondered if Mulder would really be able to grief and to find some real closure since there was not any body to bury or to cry about.

Coming out of the bathroom ready for bed, it took her a few minutes to realize there was a note on the floor. It had to have been slipped under the door. She picked it up and read it. It was from Mulder, of course. He was asking her to come to his room. She was not sure it was a good idea to go there with nothing but her PJs on her, especially after what nearly happened the other night at his apartment. She was wondering if she should change and put her clothes back on but she was tired and did not want to stay long, so she could come back here, and go to sleep. So she just put her coat on and went to Mulder's room.

Mulder was sitting on his bed, back against the headboard. He was in his PJ pants and a t-shirt, his hair still a bit damp from the shower, just as hers. He was looking in the direction of the TV across from the bed but she was sure he was not really watching it. He finally acknowledged her by putting himself more on the right side of the bed. He then put the pillow next to him up against the headboard, and pointed for her to come sit right next to him. She hesitated. Mulder gave her a look.

- "Sit down, Scully. I just wanna talk."

Scully just sat on the edge of the bed, across from him on his left side. It was really warm in his room but she did not dare to take off her coat. This apparently annoyed him.

- "Seriously Scully? This is how we're gonna work and talk now?"

- "Mulder, I'm tired and you're probably are too. After everything that happened you should try to get some sleep."

- "I know, but I can't."

Mulder drove his attention back to the TV. Scully could tell he wanted to say something so she just waited. Then, slowly, as sad as quiet, it came out:

- "My mother won't know. I did it, Scully. I found the truth about Samantha but she will never know. She died not knowing the truth. She will never know that I know. No one will know."

- "**I** know. I saw you make it there."

Mulder looked at her.

- "Isn't it ironic that I became an FBI agent in the hopes to find her and that, all this time, she was dead?"

- "You became an FBI agent to find out what happened to her and you did. It wasn't a waste of time. You were even right about finding it in the x-files. You were right all along, that's why you succeeded." She smiled at him and lightly continued, "You didn't become 'Spooky Mulder' for nothing."

Mulder finally smiled, even laughed a little. He then reached Scully's hand. She gave it to him and he caressed it a bit with his thumb.

- "I'm glad I had 'Mrs Spooky' with me all along."

They just remained silent for a while. Somehow Scully felt like Mulder still wanted to say something. Again, she just waited. Mulder just looked in front of him, lost in thoughts. Suddenly, here it came.

- "I can't feel anything, Scully. About Mom, about Samantha. I don't know if I should feel sad or relieved right now, probably both but… I just can't feel anything. I'm….numb."

- "It's probably too soon to fully realized what just happened." Scully was fully aware that it was just platitudes but it was all she could offer at this point. "You really should try to get some sleep."

- "I know."

Scully took off her hand from his. Mulder still looked vulnerable.

- "Can you just stay a bit longer? I don't feel like being alone just now." He said almost as a whisper.

Scully then proceeded to finally take the sit next to him against the headboard. Not taking the warm anymore, she even took off her coat and put it on a chair next to the bed before sitting down. An old episode of _The Twilight Zone_ was airing so they just watched it in silence, his hand in hers.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Had to write a little something for poor Scully about _X-Cops_ and _First Person Shooter_. I know it's short and fluffier than usual, but I honestly didn't know what else to write about those episodes. It's also a transition to _Theef_, in which we will be back to business.

The good news is I'm in vacation right now, so you won't have to wait that long for the next installment. I also made some corrections in my previous chapters. My English improves! Woohoo!

I really want to thank you all, my dear readers for your patience, particularly the ones who found the time to review. They are very appreciated. I'm glad you like it. THANK YOU!

* * *

><p><strong>Childish<strong>

Mulder changed and Scully wondered if it was for the best. She doubted it. Since he learnt the truth about his sister and buried his mother, he seemed to have gone back to teenage land. Real TV shows and stupid video games, that was what Scully's professional life had become.

She always knew that Mulder had a childish side, and she knew that it had a tendency to show up when Mulder was on a particularly good mood or flirtatious, but it had worsened lately. It invaded their professional sphere completely, which was unprecedented. Mulder always respected their work and took it extremely seriously but here he did not seem to care at all.

Since he had gone through a hard time, and it somewhat felt good to see him in such a joyful disposition, Scully had not dared to say something so far. But she swore to God, if she had to do something as idiotic as dressing up in a ridiculous armor or as smiling to TV camera again, she was going to lose it. She did not particularly like to be a downer but if the next case did not involve real strange and interesting phenomena, and doesn't require real, serious investigation, she might develop violence tendencies towards her partner.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is taking place right after _Theef_. To everyone who's wondering where this comes from, I suggest you to watch the last scene of the episode again. Pay attention of the way Mulder is looking at Scully, especially when she leaves the room. It's my vision of it, and how it could have turned out after it.

ps: I'm going back to work tomorrow, but I'll try to update this soon. I thank you again for your patience.

Ps2: I love reviews. Thanks to everyone who have taken the time. You're awesome**.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Now<strong>

Mulder had more difficulty to function recently. The lost of both his sister and mother had been weighing on him as much as his feelings for Scully. He had not been really focused on work lately, choosing weird, dumb cases to distract him. He had ended up getting nothing but boredom out of it. As a result, Scully had been annoyed. Him? He had been fuming. She had been acting as if nothing ever happened between them. Sometimes it had been like she had not even acknowledged his desire and feelings for her. It annoyed him because he was sure she had feelings for him too. And professionally, she had not verbalized her own frustration. She had just been silently angry with him. Mulder had been angry too, and bored, and tired.

Deep down though, he had known Scully had a point. He had to try to focus on his job again, which meant taking cases that could interest him in the first place.

So he had taken this one. Hexing, voodoo dolls, murders and family. It had had everything to keep him engaged, in this difficult time. It worked. Actually, it worked even better with Scully being focused and interested too. He had been so sure at first, that she would have dismissed this case because of his hexing theory, but instead, she had enabled him. After all this time, she could still surprise him.

"You keep me guessing". He could not have helped but repeat it to himself throughout the case. And now again, as she had left Peattie's room, after having revealed that she would have had done the same thing as Wieder. Stunned, he could only have watched her leave. Alone with his thoughts, he just looked at the door shutting down after her. Somehow, as he whispered this sentence again, he knew. All his body was screaming this: it was now or never.

As Mulder got out of the hospital to the street, he found Scully, standing against the car, waiting. She was apparently lost in thoughts. That view made him stop. It wasn't often that he had a chance to pause and look at her like that. He was having a sudden urge to kiss her. He didn't know how, but something clicked. His mind went blank. Coming out of her reverie, she looked at him, interrogations on her face. So Mulder just walked again, towards her. Suddenly he put the car keys out of his coat pocket and tossed them to Scully. By the time she caught them mechanically, and looked at them a bit stupidly, he was here, invading her personal space. He was kissing her hard, pushing her further against the car.

XXX

Scully could not help but respond. Not that she had any choice, Mulder being all over her. She really did not see that coming at this moment, but as usual, she kissed back. No matter how much she swore not to go back there, she could not help it. She could feel Mulder's desire vibrating through her. He was kissing her passionately, her mouth, her neck, pressing himself against her. His passion was contagious and soon they were making out like teenagers, right there on the hospital parking lot. This realization gave her the strength to back off.

- "Mulder?" But he kissed her again, his hands working under her shirt. She gasped.

- "I don't want to talk", he said out of breath. No kidding! Scully didn't particularly want to either, right now.

- "Mulder, we're in the middle of the street" she managed to say, out of breath herself.

Mulder pulled off a bit.

- "Can you drive?" he asked. She just sort of nodded, and he kissed her one more time before letting her go.

So she drove back to the motel. It was silent. There was nothing to say. They both knew what was to come. It was bound to happen sometimes, after all these years and it was happening now.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: this takes place during _En Ami_. Mulder's POV. The very end is borrowed directly from the episode. It was so funny to see the Lone Gunmen in "disguise" that I had to put it there_._

ps: I might not be able to update for a little while after that due to work and vacation away from home. I hope you'll forgive me and that your patience won't vanish! Just so you know, I have all the story shaped (have since the beginning), I know where this is going and how it will end. _  
><em>

Thanks all for the feedback. I love it. Glad you like it. :-)

* * *

><p><strong>Worry<strong>

Mulder was a resourceful man. He did not often find himself in a situation where he did not know what to do. Only today, he obviously was. He was in his living room, pacing, not knowing what to do. Where was Scully? He was starting to really worry.

Maggie also. She did not know anything about a family emergency and now she also wondered what happened to her daughter. Mulder had not wanted to frighten her, but it was not like Scully to disappear without a word, like this. There had to be an explanation. He really hoped nothing happened to her.

Usually when The Smoking Man was involved, it wasn't a good sign. He did not know what the son of a bitch was doing, or why he needed Scully for, but it could not be good. Mulder was sure he was the one who emailed him and sent the newspaper to Scully. And what did the cancer kid have to do with anything, anyway?

That was not only what troubled him though. Scully lied to him. It actually made things worse. Why would she lie to him to, then follow The Smoking Man…. wherever they went? It did not make any sense. And why did she refuse to talk to him when Skinner had her on the phone? He really hoped the lie had nothing to do with them personally. He did not think so, but he did not really know what to think anymore, at the same time. Mulder sat down.

Since their weekend at Quonochotaug Scully was distant, to Mulder's frustration. He had thought that them finally getting together would have had made things more simple. It seemed to have made them further complicated instead. He wished she would talk to him. After all, he had been there and it had been a weird experience for him too. Mulder could see there was an issue with that weekend at Quonochotaug but they did not seem to be able to discuss it.

Not that he knew what to say, mind you. Mulder was a smart man and could find explanations for almost everything, but here he was at a loss.

The weekend started pretty normally. Well, as normal as sorting and moving out the belongings of your late mother could be. Not really romantic. It went fine though. They finally emptied the apartment completely and moved things to the Quonochotaug house. At night, they made a fire in the chimney and just talked. Then it got out of hand. Even now, in hindsight, he did not know how. He remembered musing about him being alone now. He was an orphan. He had no close family left. Scully had just simply said, that he was not totally alone, that he had her. Then before Mulder really realized what was happening, they were making love in front of the chimney. Twice. And then again, in the bedroom after they finally got to bed. Just to reiterate the next day. Multiple times. Mulder still could not explain it, no matter how hard he tried. It was weird. It seemed he had been craving her. But still, now that they were together, even if not that much officially, Mulder thought it would not be a big deal.

Mulder got up again, putting a hand in his hair angrily. Time was not for memories of weird, fun times. That could not have anything to do with Scully's disappearance today. Even if she was distant she would not have done something as stupid as willfully going alone with the Smoker, right? That thought made him uneasy. He really did not know what to do, right now. He really wished "The Three Stooges" found something. As if on cue, there was a knock on Mulder's door. He went to open it and had to suppress a laugh at the sight of the Lone Gunmen.

"The masters of disguise", was all he could say.

* * *

><p>Ps2: Okay, so it occurred to me that some of you might be a bit disappointed to not have a chapter with a scene following my latest chapter, "Now". I apologize. I'm aware that in a lot of fanfics there would have been a second part to my previous chapter. I'm aware that fanfic deals a lot with readers and fans' fantasies and imagination regarding a fictional world and characters. I know that you apparently liked seeing Mulder bringing some sexiness to the story. And Perhaps some of you expected a little bit more of this and intimacy, especially after the abrupt ending of said chapter. I like sexiness and just intimacy too but I like a good story without unnecessary dragged themes, scenes or storyline better.<p>

That is why I don't write a sex/intimate scenes just to write a sex/intimate scenes. If it doesn't make the story go forward, if it's unnecessary from a narrative standpoint, then don't do it. That's my creed. I believe this to be true for any kind of scene and storyline. I want to be able to justify every chapter that I write and every choice that I make.

If you've followed this story you probably know that about me, already. I don't write very long chapters and tend to stick to the essential, after all. I'm not saying that I manage to do it everytime, I'm sure some people would find this fic incredibly boring & even badly written. I just do my best like everyone here. I'm just saying that I'm sorry for the abrupt ending and the lack of following. I thought that I owed you a bit of an explanation.

I'm Sorry there isn't a scene with the both of them afterwards. I actually wrote some drafts of such a chapter. It was a fun & awkward after-sex scene between them at the hotel. Unfortunately, I thought the tone was a bit too different from the previous chapters, it was a bit fluffier and I didn't feel it fitted very well to the story so I decided to suppress it entirely.

Now if you're good (XD), I may write a satisfying final draft of this scene. I would post it at the end of this fic, as a bonus chapter, to thank you for your patience and support. This also depends on your level of interest, of course. I'll leave the decision to you.

Again, thanks for taking the time to read this. You are all very dear to me.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This takes place right after the end of _En Ami_. Scully's POV.

More dialogues on this one! Hope Andreakayy will love it! :-) As usual, hope you'll find it at your taste.

* * *

><p><strong>Misunderstanding<strong>

- "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to worry you. I really tried to be in touch", Scully said for the third time.

He nodded. If only he would say something. He had remained silent since they came from CGB Spender's "office". Now they were back at his apartment, and still nothing. She knew things were a bit weird between them lately but she could not imagine him not understanding what she had done here. She hoped Mulder could get past their personal difficulties of the moment. What happened these past few days had nothing to do with their weekend at Quonochotaug, after all. Scully then remembered that Cancer Man had pierced through her regarding Mulder and it made her uneasy again.

Mulder was just sitting down on his couch, drinking a fresh cup of coffee. He was not really looking at her. Scully was sitting on the armchair.

- "Look", she tried again, "I felt, I had to do it. After everything that happened to me, I had to listen."

- "I understand."

Finally! A word! Okay what she did was crazy, especially for her, but still. She had to do it even if it was apparently for nothing. Scully was not so sure that it had been a complete waste yet. The Smoking Man was probably really dying. She believed that was the message he wanted to give her, after all.

- "Don't be angry then, please. You would've done the same under the circumstances."

- "I don't know, Scully. And I'm not angry, I'm just... I was just worried. You put yourself in great danger there. I didn't know where you were."

- "Now you know how I feel everytime you go on a wild goose chase, all by yourself", she tried to joke, weakly.

Mulder put down his cup and got up.

- "It's not funny, Scully. I imagined a lot of scenarios. I didn't know what happened to you and then you refused to talk to me and I didn't know why. I imagined a lot of things, I even thought it was personal."

Scully was lost. Personal?

- "What do you mean?"

- "Nothing, I just..." Mulder looked embarrassed. "I just thought that maybe you blamed me or something and..."

Scully looked at him in surprise. She could not quite believe what she was hearing. Was he really talking about what she believed he was talking about? Admittedly, the famous weekend at Quonochotaug had been unusual to say the least. It started well until they talked about the loneliness in their lives and the love ones they lost. Then, they completely forgot about Teena and the fact that they were at her house. They rarely got out of bed, just talking a bit and making love like two crazy teenagers discovering sex. Scully had been so surprise and unsettled by this that she had put some distance with Mulder. She had felt the need to reclaim some space. But still, why would Mulder think that had anything to do with her trip with the Smoking Man? She realized Mulder was looking at her expectantly.

- "Mulder... What do you want me to say?"

Mulder did not answer. He did not quite dare to face her either, she noticed. Perhaps he was starting to realize that his reaction was a bit over-the-top. Scully could not really comprehend what was happening here but she knew she did not like it.

- "You really connected the road trip with our personal problems?" she asked with more than a bit of incredulity in her voice.

- "Oh, so we do have problems."

- "I don't know, Mulder. Do we?"

The Smoking Man's words came back to her again. "You'd die for Mulder but you wouldn't allow yourself to love him." She had called him on his pop psychology at the time, but deep down, she knew he was right. Yes, they had problems and, right now, she was afraid they were all hers.

Scully did not get her reactions lately. First, she let herself in a sort of sexual frenzy she had not known she was capable of, and here she had been willing to give a bit of trust to the smoking son of a bitch. What was happening to her?

She realized that Mulder was talking to her.

- "What?"

- "I said that I didn't regret what happened. I didn't plan it. But I'm not sorry. It was weird but I liked it. And I'm not gonna apologize for it." He was blushing now.

- "You're out of your mind Mulder. Okay, me going with Cancer Man was a bit crazy and I'm sorry to have cause you trouble, but it has nothing to do with Quonochotaug. I don't blame you, I know you didn't plan it... I liked it too."

Oh God, was she blushing too? She hoped not. She really did not know why she could not ease herself into this relationship. She was just completely thrown off at the moment.

– "I'm sorry to have been distant lately. I guess I have a hard time adjusting."

That's all she could say for now. Mulder did not comment. He just looked at her sympathetically.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: **First of all, I apologize for not having updated this story sooner. I am sooooo sorry. It's been like forever since I've posted my previous chapter. It's been crazy these past few months. I just had two weeks vacation this summer and then work took almost all my time. I hope you did not give up on this story though. I always make sure that my chapters are as the best as I can do and worth of your reading. I hope this one will make up for all that time. I will try not to be on "silent radio" for so long again and post another chapter soon. Especially that I approach the end of the story since _All things_ will be the last episode that I will cover. In case I don't post before a few weeks I wish you all a happy Holidays!

Once again thank you so much for your patience and kindness, my dear readers. I hope you all still follow this story with pleasure and that you will find this chapter as good as the others (if not, don't be afraid to complain :D). As usual, don't hesitate to comment, I love having your feedback. :-)

Ps: Thanks to Mindy for the help.

This takes place right after _Chimera. _A scene between Mulder and Scully in Mukder's POV.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Breakfast<strong>

8:23AM on the clock. Mulder was pretty sure Scully was not awake. She could not be. Not after the nights she had to spend. Fresh orange juice, french croissants, coffee. This was a great breakfast Scully would certainly welcome. But Mulder was still in his car. He was resolute earlier when he got out of his apartment to offer Scully a great breakfast but since he parked in front of her apartment building, he found himself unable to move. He was not so sure that Scully would be glad to see him. Not to mention the fact that she would probably see the breakfast as a peace offering and a way for him to remain in her good graces after he totally abandoned her and the boring surveillance at the first chance he got. He wanted to do something nice for Scully. He did not need any particular reason to do such things but here he was sorry. He hoped she would like the gesture. It really bothered Mulder to find he did not really know what kind of breakfast Scully enjoyed as a special treat. He thought he knew her well enough by now, to know that kind of thing. It also bothered him to be that nervous about a breakfast. Okay, so that was not really about the breakfast. It was also about the whole "significant other" conversation that he could not quite get out of his mind. Scully was his significant other in so many ways. And he loved her for that. He knew that for quite some time now, but here it was one of those rare times when it felt different. Like when he had imagined the apocalypse and Scully had saved him. He had been able to put words to his feelings afterward. Only here he spoke about it to strangers. He and Scully were so careful in their relationship that they hardly ever talk about it. No plan, no talk about what they feel. They just went with the flow and managed to make the best of the little non work-related time they could spend together. It was probably why it was so intense, so passionate and so chaotic. Only now Mulder felt that it was time to really acknowledge that they were a couple and that, even in secrecy, they could have a real stable relationship. He believed it. He wanted it. Scully was his significant other. It was that simple. She made him happy and he loved her for that. It was as if speaking of it out loud to a third part had made things all the more real.

So that was it. He was gonna offer Scully a great breakfast and tell her he loved her. At least that was the plan before he froze. Last time he told her he loved her in so many words, she laughed at him. So what? They had not even been together at that time. It bothered Mulder to be that bothered. You wonder too much, he said to himself. So he took a deep breath, got out of the car with the breakfast bag, and went to Scully's apartment door. Should he knock? Deciding not to wake her up in such a fashion, he used his spare key and let himself in her apartment. It was totally silent. Mulder put the bag on the kitchen table, only taking the coffee out. Still warm. He went to Scully's bedroom. She was fast asleep. Mulder thought about waking her up gently with coffee smell but stopped short. She looked relaxed, she looked peaceful. She looked beautiful. Then, Mulder put the coffee down on the nightstand, removed his coat before putting in away on a chair, and just lied down beside Scully. She stirred.

- "Mulder?"

- "Yeah"

- "What time is it?" She asked still half asleep.

- "Still early, go back to sleep." He kept his voice down.

- "I smell coffee."

Scully's radar for coffee. She could be in a coma and it would still work perfectly.

- "Later."

Mulder put an arm around Scully's waist, pulling her closer to him.

- "Hey Scully?" He said, almost whispering in her ear.

- "Hmmm?" was all she mustered. She was falling back again. Mulder used the little time he had.

- "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about the surveillance thing. I missed you."

She did not respond but Mulder sensed that she was not totally asleep yet. He could feel her listening to him.

- "I know we don't really talk about us but I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do if I don't see you everyday. I love you."

He then took her hand and kissed her cheek lightly. Her eyes were closed. He closed his own and they just slept peacefully with their hands intertwined.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Hello! I know, it's been a really, unbelievably looooonnnng time since my last update. What can I say? I've been über busy and I didn't take a vacation for a whole year. Okay those are lame excuses. I'm truly sorry it took me so long to update. I know it's more difficult to follow a story when you have to wait a very long time between chapters. I'm making it hard for you to like this story. Again, I apologize. For those who are still interested in this fic and will read this new chapter, I really thank you for your incredible patience. You are truly the best reader every writer would ever want to have. I really hope you will enjoy this chapter.

Now I have a bad and a good news: the bad is we approach the end. There are just a couple of more chapters and then it will be over. The good news is I'm finally on vacation again, so you won't have to wait that long to read the next chapter. How miraculous is that? XD Okay so here we go!

This takes place during _all things_. Lonely Mulder in England... And of course, Scully and her emotional roller-coaster.

The dialogue is not mine but Gillian Anderson's.

* * *

><p><strong>Weekend<strong>

He had been so angry. Now he was just bored. Mulder was lying on his hotel bed. His bags were packed. He wished Scully was here. He had wished this all weekend. He believed she would have loved England. He always liked in here, even if he did not have only good memories. It could have been a great time to make new great and happy ones. It should have been. He had planned it: she would have made fun of the crop circles being UFO originated and they would have just shared a skeptic/believer moment under the stars, and in the beautiful scenery of Stonehedge. Then they would have gone back to the hotel and spend the rest of the weekend alone with no work to do. He really thought that the crop circles excuse would work. It was 'out there' enough but not so much at the same time. Plus, it was in England, far away from the FBI! How could she said no to this ? Well, she did. Not only that, but she was annoyed. He did not know why exactly. Apart from taking a very boring case full of stupid teenagers to give him time to prepare his surprise England trip, he had been on his best behavior. Okay, so the case might have been a mistake, Scully hated stupid teenagers.

Perhaps it was not it though. Scully have yet to tell him she loved him back and now, he was starting to think that maybe they were not emotionally in the same place. Everything was fine between them, but he wondered if Scully really shared these feelings as deeply as he was. He did not know, and lately, she was very evasive on the phone, as if she was always thinking about something else while talking to him. He did not like that. He wanted to see her, apologize for whatever the hell he was supposed to be sorry and hold her in his arms. He could find the time to make another romantic trip, after all.

Mulder contemplated the idea of calling Scully, letting her know about his return but thought the better of it. God knew how he would be received. So he just got on his feet, took his luggage and left his big hotel room with last one sorry look to the huge bathroom and the king-size bed.

**XXX**

She was so tired. What a hell of a weekend! Scully was not sure she could make any sense of what happened in those two days. She just sat there, lost in thoughts on a bench. Was it destiny that put Daniel in her path again, after all these years, and precisely in this moment? People rarely realize the depth of the journey they have been on for years, Scully thought. Most human do not even fully realize how much they grew as a person throughout their lives. What she told Daniel about her not being the same person anymore was true. She was. She was not just more mature and sure of herself and more experienced. Those were just the common things most people said when ask if they have change over the years. She was not most people. Not anymore. She felt like this weekend she experienced a sort of ultimate introspection. She really realized how much she grew and evolved as a human being. She was still her, but felt as a new woman. It was violent. It was brutal and disorienting. Things had changed so much since she met Mulder. Her entire life had turned upside down. She lived and saw things she had never thought she would before. She was not sure she could make sense of it all.

Scully was still sitting on the bench when suddenly she saw it again. That cap. That ponytail. She did not even think twice before running towards her. She just ran and took the woman by the arm to make her turn.

- "Excuse me!"

- "Hey"

- "Mulder?" She could not have been more surprised. This weekend was definitely odd.

- "I was just looking for you."

- "But you're supposed to be in England."

- "I''m back."

- "What happened?" Scully was very confused.

- "Nothing. There was no event. No crop circles. Big waste of time." Mulder seemed bummed. Scully just sighed.

- "Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, Mulder.

It was apparently time for Mulder to be puzzled.

- "What is that supposed to mean?"

Scully could not help but smile. She forgot she had been angry at him for once again choosing idiotic cases. He was back. He was looking for her. It was good to see him.

- "Nothing. Come on, I make you some tea."

Mulder. He was the only one whom she could talk to. She and Mulder, the two of them, talking, exchanging life experiences. This was what she needed right now, something domestic and normal.

* * *

><p>ps: I always found it weird Mulder didn't make sure the crop circle event was a sure thing before going all the way to another Country. It doesn't seem like him to not pay attention to that kind of thing. I also found his annoyance at Scully for not going with him a bit over-the-top, so for the necessity of this chapter and of this story, I decided to pretend there was more than just a trip in England to see crop circles.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hellooo! I'm back! And not so late as I promised. Can you believe that _The X Files_ is turning 20 years today? I know I can't. Makes me old but also really proud to be a part of this fandom. So to celebrate this great anniversary, I give you this chapter. Have a great celebration yourselves fellow Philes!  
><strong>

**Missing scene in _all things_. It's an emotional one. I'm not that good to write this stuff usually, so I hope you will like it. Scully's POV. As usual, don't hesitate to tell me what you think!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Love<strong>

Scully stirred. Where was she ? It was all blurred in her mind. She sat up a bit. Ah yes. Mulder's apartment. Mulder's couch to be precise. They had been talking and... well, she guessed she just fell asleep on his couch. She put both of her feet on the floor. She was beginning to be fully awake. It was night outside. What time could it be? Scully watched the clock on Mulder's desk: seven past Midnight. She then noticed light under Mulder's bedroom door. Was he awake?

She lightly opened the door to see Mulder sitting on his bed, in his PJ pants, a magazine in his hand. He looked up.

- "Hey. You're okay?"

- "Yes, thanks. I'm sorry I fell asleep."

- "It's okay. I hesitated to bring you here but you were sleeping so well..."

There was something weird. They had been comfortable earlier when they talked but now, the silence that had fallen was awkward.

- "It was an unusual weekend, I guess", Scully began, lightly.

- "Scully...", Mulder responded apparently not amused.

- "No, Mulder, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have get angry and... I don't know. It's been weird."

"I don't know what to tell you Scully. If I did something wrong, I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't."

Dropping the magazine on the floor, Mulder went to his bathroom. Scully followed and leaned on the wall beside the door. Mulder was passing water on his face. He looked at her through the mirror. Scully noticed there was something sad and tired in this look. She looked down.

- "Mulder, I had a very strange experience this weekend and I'm sorry to have given you a bad time about England, but at the same time, I don't regret not to go. I feel like this was something I had to experience. I hope you understand."

- "Well, I hope this was really that important because England sucked without you. I missed you all weekend. It was really boring. But then, I guess that's what romantic trip are without the other half participating."

Scully was stunned. 'romantic trip'? What the hell was he talking about? Having finished wiping his face, Mulder turned over to face her. Scully recovered.

- "You... I mean, it was supposed to be a romantic trip?"

- "Yes Scully, you really think I'm that much into crop-circles that I would booked two plane tickets for England behind your back? I planned the whole thing. It should have been just the two of us far from the FBI."

- "But on its dime?"

- "Well, yes, that was the best part", Mulder grinned devilishly.

Scully was now mortified. What had she done? She really had not thought of Mulder planning a romantic trip.

- "I'm sorry Mulder, I didn't know. I... I don't know what to say."

Mulder passed a hand on his face. He seems to be a little tense, as if he hesitated to say something.

- "It's okay, you hate surprises anyway. It was a bad idea. I don't want you to feel pressured anyway."

- "Pressured?" Now Scully was lost.

- "Yes, I mean, it's not the first time you back away a little in our relationship. It occurred to me that we weren't necessarily in the same place right now. But it's okay."

What? Okay, she overreacted on the whole crop-circle thing, she admitted it, but common! 'Not in the same place'? What did that even mean?

- "Mulder no..."

- "No it's okay Scully, really, I'm a big boy, I can take it. Maybe you're right. Maybe things need to slow down."

- "Things don't need to slow down. I'm sorry if I've been distant lately, I didn't think I was. Mulder I don't want you to think that I don't want to be with you, because I do, you know."

Mulder just looked at her. He seemed maybe a bit surprised but pleased. And even a bit... relieved? Oh God, what had she done? Why could not she say, at least once, that she loved him back and, why did she not go to England with him? That would have been nice. Always this damned fear coming in the way. Mulder was quiet. He just looked at her. She met his eyes.

- "I really do, Mulder. After everything we've been through, you're the most important person in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way." Mulder's eyes were locked on hers. She had his undivided attention. "You're my touchstone too and I trust you, and I want this relationship to work", she finished quietly, throwing his words back at him.

Here it was. Out in the open. Out of the bag. She said it. What she felt and what she wanted. It was that simple. She did not even hesitated. Now, she did not even understand why she had not before. It was so simple, she thought as she responded to his smile. He looked still a bit surprised.

- "I'm sorry I didn't make that clear before. It was stupid."

It really was. It felt so right and so easy right now. Then it occurred to Scully that perhaps the reason it felt right at this particular moment, was linked to what she experienced this weekend. Seeing Daniel again and having that vision. It had unsettled her but also had reassured her that she had taken the right decisions when she had to. And now she was this woman, new and the same, whatever that meant. She knew clearly where she came from and where she was right now. And it was all because of him. Mulder. It was all for him. This crazy, smart, passionate human being in whom she believed for so long now. Him and the trust they shared. Trust, this word that became so much powerful between them, that it was even bigger than love. In the end, it all came back to him, as always. She could see it now. And yes, it felt right.

Lost in her thoughts she did not see Mulder coming to her. He stopped at just a few inches from her face, looking at her intensely.

- "Can you repeat that?", he whispered with a smirk on his face.

- "Shut up, I already said I was sorry!"

Mulder laughed and kissed her. Lightly at first and then more passionately. He broke the embrace after a few minutes. She was still close in his arms and he had his mouth in her ear.

"I love you too, Scully", he whispered with a ragged voice. She could still hear the smirk as he kissed her again. She lightly hit him on the back of his head with her right hand, and deepened the kiss as they were finding their way back to the bedroom, entangled.


End file.
